I guess I've just been exhausting myself the past couple days.  Trying to love myself, trying to love my lover, just feeling like I've been failing miserably at both and making myself miserably exhausted. 

I just feel bad if my lover needs something and I can't give it to her.  I want more than anything in the world for her to be happy.  To be there for her and to give her what she needs.  I want to be able to give her everything she needs.  I guess I need to try and accept I can't do that all the time.  And feeling bad about it. To just try my hardest with everything.  Otherwise things are just going to get worse again like they have been.

I guess I need to make my lover feel better about herself.  I want her to feel better about spending time on things for herself too.  I need to remember that bored isn't always lonely, even though it usually has been. 

Which I guess means I'm going to spend more time on myself.  Spend some time actually caring about myself.  Which means doing things I otherwise feel like I didn't have time for.  Because I'm important.  I'd probably advise my lover to do the same.

I love you more than anything lover.  Please love yourself and be okay.   And don't worry about me.  I'm doing great if I'm learning to love myself.  I'm feeling happier.  I hope you are too.  I'll love you forever.